Worthy or Not? That Is The Question.

“I mean nothing.”

A phrase that I have been fighting to prove wrong my whole life, the problem is, I was the one saying it. I literally could not convince myself of my own worth, my own value. Besides, who am I to make such declarations? I am just a simple soul. Someone who achieved mediocre grades in school because I was determined to see how many days I could miss before getting thrown out of class (PS the magic number is six, but I was able to miss up to 35 in some subjects). I was smart, pretty, talented, and BORED out of my mind. More than anything else, I didn’t know any of that and I didn’t believe that I could ever belong to any of those classifications. So I kept to myself.

Since I know what it’s like to feel unworthy, I feel like I have a little insight on how to get your head out of your “you know where” and change your beliefs. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? Isn’t anything worth having?

So let’s talk about how YOU are going to wake up and feel like you are worthy of all of your desires. Let’s talk about how YOU are the best version of whoever you are supposed to be.

1. Ask yourself, “Why do I think this?”

Why do you keep reinforcing this belief? What kind of alleged proof do you have?

2. Then ask, “Where did this come from?”

Where did this dreadful thought originate? A failed relationship? A bully at school? Think back.

3. Most importantly ask, “Why does it matter?”

What makes this thought so important? Who does this thought revolve around and who gave them the authority to determine     your worth?

4. Follow up with, “How can I change it?”

Do you need a mantra? Do you need a memo on your mirror in the morning? What will help you convince yourself that you are a lot more than you give yourself credit for?

5. If things are good after asking these, great. If not, it’s time to repeat. Remember, slow and steady wins the race.

None of these answers come easy, and change does not come quickly. Be patient with yourself and when your solutions don’t work the first time, be forgiving and try again. Piece by piece you will begin to see where these beliefs rooted and be able to rewrite your story. When you get frustrated, and you will, breathe and make sure to take a mental health break. Climbing Mt. Everest is rarely done the first time. Loving yourself is like that, seemingly impossible (especially with the external world telling you that you need to be Halle Berry with a mind like Albert Einstein). You will come to realize what you like, don’t like, kind of like, could care less about, or what you’d prefer not to even bother considering (MY largest category). It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to take A LOT OF TIME. It isn’t a race!

After years of practice, after training, after counseling, after coaching, I still struggle with recognizing my self worth. But you know what? That makes me human. Nevertheless, I believe enough in myself to know that I am CORRECT in saying that YOU are in fact worth it, just like I am. Whatever it is your heart is asking for, know that you are exactly who God intended you to be, and that you deserve it. If you want to be a fitness model, GREAT. If you want to be a nuclear physicist, AWESOME. Even if you want to be a janitor, WE NEED THOSE, TOO! You are the best version of you. Remember that. There are no wrong answers!!!!!!

If you ever need a leg up, call me and I will happily tell you about how I love you and know that you are amazing, even if we have never talked before. I am certain of these things.

The definition of worth is as follows:

The quality that renders something desirable or valuable or useful.

Now ask yourself, “WHO DECIDES WHAT IS DESIRABLE, OR VALUABLE, OR USEFUL?”

You do (if that isn’t the answer that you came up with, then we DEFINITELY need to talk). You are the only person that has dominion over your thoughts. You are the only person that can see value in the things around you.

For instance, I have a close friend that was excited about her engagement. She got a beautiful emerald cut diamond ring from her fiancé. In conversation, she asked me what I would prefer. Would I want a cushion cut, a brilliant cut, or some other version of a diamond engagement ring? I told her that I didn’t want a “diamond” ring, I’d much prefer sapphires or some other stone. To her, diamonds meant wealth and love. To me, diamonds meant conformity and lack of thought. There was a far deeper meaning to having a blue stone that represented faith and royalty. She didn’t understand. The value, in monetary terms, could be equal depending on the gemstone, but the worth was not going to be printed on a certificate. We placed different worth on each ring. Neither of us was wrong.

That’s you. You are the gemstone of your choice. It doesn’t matter what anyone else’s preference is because it all comes down to perception. I place more importance on thought, creativity, and history than she did in regard to the stone choice. She placed societal measures and status quo above those. In the end, it only matters what I think, it only matters what you think. If you don’t measure up, you need to reevaluate your scale.

Loving yourself is the best thing that can happen to you. It will open doors where none existed and take you to heights you only dreamed about.

I am dreaming with my eyes open. You can, too.

As always, love yourself and love others.

MNW

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Comments
2 Responses to “Worthy or Not? That Is The Question.”
  1. sarahlove says:

    When everything around us is stripped away we are left with ourselves. It is then that we an start to realize that just our mere existence is something special. Why are we here anyway? It IS for a purpose. That is how I know, I am worth it. Even if some days I do need a pep talk. I too, am just human like you.

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