Stuckville, USA

The topic on my mind is one that I feel like I have been dealing with for MONTHS, feeling stuck. I am an optimist, tried and true, even if I used to disguise myself as a realist (which is code for skeptic). I always looked at the bright side, never wanted for anything, and pretty much glided through life. That isn’t to say that I didn’t have trials, because I had MAJOR trials, but they taught me early on that anything can happen if you just believe it can. For thirty years, this is how I approached life.

Then, one day, things started to go wrong. I was floating along and “BAM!” Things started to slip from my control. Money, which I had always had, was all of a sudden no where when I needed it; friendships with great friends were starting to prove difficult and misunderstandings ensued; I was stuck in a job that I felt was not challenging enough and couldn’t find a light at the end of the tunnel; and I was stuck in a town with what felt like NO ONE!

I started to see how I was the one that was creating all of this chaos because I was starting to worry about things. Worry about my future, worry about my relationships, worry about how I was going to get from “A” to “Z.” So slowly but surely, things are starting to calm down and I am unwinding that screw that has been winding itself up so tightly inside of me, yet there is a major decision still looming above me: moving.

I am a gypsy at heart, or will be until something is BIG enough to keep me in one place. I am a learner by nature and being in a new place is great as long as I am growing intellectually, spiritually, and maybe even socially. However, I have reached a plateau on growing here in Denver and I just can’t seem to get out (and I’m stuck here with all of these Broncos fans. It sucks!)! It’s like they put a force field around it and only a few know the secret of getting through it. And then there lies the other problem: Where would I go if I got out?

Sounds like I am in prison, right? “Got out.” I would like to return my orange jumpsuit (seems appropriate, “Denver”) and shower shoes. This place is for the birds.

So now I am waiting on a sign or divine intervention. This can also be confusing, because you can get signs and God can push you in a direction and then you realize that you are scared to go in the direction he points. When you hesitate, you end up here, in Stuckville.

Maybe it means I need to make a decision and stick with it.

For all of you out there that can’t seem to move in any direction, know that you aren’t alone; maybe we can become pen pals. And who knows, maybe your town is where I’ll decide to go and then we can be the best of friends.

Presently, I will just keep moving forward even if it isn’t in a physical sense.

Love yourself and others, people. Stay warm!




2 Responses to “Stuckville, USA”
  1. sarahlove says:

    How can a person change? By changing. It’s that easy and hard at the same time. Same thing with being stuck. Just get unstuck! 😉

    • myhisha says:

      Exactly. The only way is to make up your mind and change, make a decision. That isn’t always easy, depending on how much weight we put on the decision we are making, and sometimes there are beliefs that we don’t even know we have that keep us from doing it. There are lessons in being in each space. When we learn them, we move forward. 🙂

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